Anxiety tools to use together

Anxiety is an emotion that all of us feel at times. It is a feeling of worry, fear or unease which can present itself as thoughts, feelings, behaviours or physical sensations. It is a normal emotion and one that for young people is part of growing up and developing. For example, feeling nervous at starting a new school; experiencing a lot of change; before taking an exam or trying something new. Anxiety can be difficult for young people when they feel they are ‘stuck’ in anxiety, unable to manage anxious thoughts or it becomes overwhelming.

You might notice both emotional and physical symptoms that a young person displays. At first it might not be obvious that it is anxiety. Physical symptoms might present as stomach aches, feeling nauseous, headaches or sore muscles. They might appear more withdrawn, be talking more about situations with worry or finding it difficult to concentrate in the day and to sleep at night.

Talking to young people about the anxiety they are experiencing can be a really helpful step. It might however not always be easy to do so or the young person may not even recognise that it is anxiety that they are feeling. There might be other crossovers with different emotions such as anger, frustration, shame or feeling low. By working together to understand these emotions and causes of anxiety it can alleviate some of the pressure a young person might feel and reassure them that they are not alone.

Helping a young person identify and understand their feelings:

Naming emotions can take away some of the fear and loneliness that we might be experiencing whilst bottling up anxious thoughts. In a calmer/quiet moment, ask young people what they are feeling, thinking or what is going on in their body and listen without judgement. Sometimes we want to jump in with answers and solutions but try to hold off and validate the feelings, giving them time to express themselves. Writing or drawing feelings, using mood cards (Flourish hub downloadable) or pictures/emojis might be helpful when they are finding it difficult to find the words.

Explore where the anxiety is coming from:

After the young person has felt able to express themselves and their feelings are validated, ask if there are any specific situations or thoughts that are worrying them. Is there anything at school or home that could be put in place? Is there something that they could have extra support in? It may be that the anxiety is coming from something outside of the young person's control- help them to focus on the things they can control and let go of those that they can’t.
 

Practise calming activities together:

Spend time together engaging in calming activities. It can be easier to start new activities alongside someone else and keep up the motivation to make a regular routine. Try out mindfulness breathing exercises, yoga (check out youtube videos!), painting, arts and crafts, taking a gentle walk, cooking or baking. Engaging in activities alongside each other can help take their mind off anxiety and focus on the present moment. It can also be a really good opportunity to spend quality time together and talk about things other than the worries.
 

Make a self-care box:

Having a collection of physical items to soothe, uplift or ground can be helpful to use in anxious moments. It creates a safe space and tool for the young person to use independently. Help the young person to create a ‘box’ or container just for them, filling it with things that can help them work through anxiety. Think about things that engage the senses, for example a scented body lotion to smell, a sweet to taste, slime or fidget toys to touch and a list of favourite music to listen to. They might also have a journal or postcards with positive reminders written on them. Pictures of happy memories or calming places might also be helpful. Explore together the kind of items a young person might wish to include.
 

Explore other options of help together:

Sometimes exploring other avenues or professional help might be necessary to help move things forward. It can be beneficial for young people to talk to someone outside of their family/friends circle and explore new tools. Talk to school, GPs or local services, including the young person in the conversation where you can. It is okay to ask for help and this is something that can be a really great step.