The importance of self-care when supporting others
Supporting and looking after young people's mental well-being is an amazing, rewarding, but often, a huge task. With more young people than ever needing some sort of support and guidance, it can quickly begin to feel overwhelming. With stretched resources and increasing demand, it is more important than ever to know your own limits and look after yourself before being able to give your best to others.
As aeroplane safety briefings always say- put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. The same goes for supporting young people, we need to make sure we are addressing and maintaining our own needs first.
YoungMinds describe self-care as all the small things that you do to look after your mental health and overall well-being. This includes really listening to and meeting our own needs even when it feels difficult to do so. Often we might think of pampering, long baths, and spa days as self-care. We might even think it is selfish or an indulgence. This is a really common misconception. It does not need to be luxurious, expensive or really time-consuming but it can be built into a part of our everyday routines.
How self-care helps:
Particularly in caregiving professions, it can be encouraged to give so much energy to others that we often leave little for ourselves. Self-care can help us conserve some of our energy for ourselves. The Education Support charity's latest Teacher Wellbeing Index 2020 found that 62% of education staff felt stressed in their jobs and 74% have ‘experienced behavioural, psychological or physical symptoms due to their work’. Although self-care may not be the complete answer to freeing professionals from stress, it can help manage and release build up of stress and overwhelm. Building a positive self-care routine can help prevent burn out and prevent the escalation of both physiological and psychological distress.
Taking time out for self-care practices can also really increase our overall productivity. It is no surprise that when we neglect our needs we notice a shift in both our mindset and how we respond to others, tasks become difficult and we can easily lose patience or hope. Being well rested, eating well, and feeling more happier and confident in ourselves are all benefits of self-care that can also really impact our ability to perform at our best.
Prioritising our own self-care can also help us to be fantastic role models to others. This can be both to other professionals and the young people we are supporting, showing them that self-care is something that everyone should be prioritising. Being honest and open about how we access support or meet our own needs can be a great encouragement for someone else to do the same.
Self-care ideas to try
Meeting basic needs first:
It might be as simple as making sure you are drinking enough water, eating regular meals, or having time to rest. These are often the little things that get overlooked or skipped. Make sure you take time to sit down and eat something nutritious and enjoyable in the morning; try some gentle stretches to get your body moving or have a ‘cut off point’ of when you need to wind down and relax before bed.
Listening to a podcast or calming music on the way to/from work:
Create a positive routine that stops us from worrying about the day ahead/ frantically going over our to-do list for the next day. Using this time to be in the present, having something to listen to and focus on can be a great help. Explore different podcasts or audiobooks that grab your attention (try ‘The therapy edit’ by Anna Marthur or ‘Happy Place’ by Fearne Cotton for great well-being tips!).
Setting your boundaries:
‘No’ might be a bit of a taboo word, particularly when we feel that many people are relying on us. But we have both a right and a need to set boundaries and for those to be respected. It can take practice to be able to set boundaries with confidence- start with something small and work on building this up. It could be not replying to messages after 9pm; scheduling time to rest and not be disturbed; not taking on that little extra task or taking an extra 5 minutes to yourself during the day.
Connecting meaningfully:
Humans are not meant to do life alone, we all crave some sort of relation to others. Having a real meaningful conversation with a loved one regularly can take a burden off us and help us to feel more grounded and connected to those around us. This might include sharing your emotions and stresses; talking about something you are passionate about and excites you; share a happy memory or discuss your hope and dreams for the future.
Celebrating small achievements:
Life is made up of lots of ‘little wins’ and it is okay to celebrate these! We are often very modest or hesitant to celebrate ourselves but it is a good step to start recognising all that we do and giving ourselves praise. Anything from getting a job done you have been putting off for ages to making time to go bed early once a week - every achievement is worth celebrating!
